God Never Wastes Your Pain

I LOVE this post from the TrueWoman blog. The post is referring to someone's marriage; however, I can easily see where it would help anyone enduring a painful season. Here it is:



I thought I was dying. I’d lost hope, and saw only the dark shroud of my pain. I knew God was there, but I couldn’t see Him at work.
Some of you may have heard our story when it aired on Revive Our Hearts, or you may have watched the True Woman Video explaining how God worked in our marriage. At the time, I couldn’t see anything God was doing and would never have imagined how He would use that season of pain. But He has!
While in the pain He taught me:

• To trust His faithfulness—especially when I couldn’t see Him working
• To remain and not run—escaping the pain was not the answer
• Disobedience brings painful consequences—realizing that brings a healthy fear of God and hatred for sin
• To never assume I’m right—He wants to use this place to reveal blind spots I’m not aware of
• To keep pressing into Him to see what I’m missing in the big picture
• The best is yet to come—always!
• “We’ve not yet seen the rest of the story” (my theme song while experiencing suffering).

He’s not wasted my pain.

• From the brokenness, He’s brought healing and fruit.
• My husband and I guard our marriage relationship and treasure each moment—knowing we wasted so many years.
• Lessons learned from that season are a source of hope and counsel for numerous couples.
• The story of His power to redeem will be shared in a book I’m writing for Moody Publishers—which will allow more couples to benefit from the lessons in the pain.

Here’s what He can do with your pain:

• Show you more of Himself than you’ve yet seen
• Train you in righteousness
• Increase your faith and dependence on Him
• Allow others to see His sustaining grace as you trust and obey
• Conform you to Christ’s image
• Use you to bring comfort and inspiration to others.

“For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.” (2 Cor. 4:17 KJV)
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” (2 Cor. 1:3–4)

Has it really been 2 1/2 years???

Well the 2 1/2 year anniversary (this month) of R and I ttc is starting to sting a little :-/ It's probably because everyone and their mother are pregnant, lol. Don't get me wrong I am happy for them, but all to often I am reminded that after 2 1/2 years we aren't there yet. Of course my emotional state has improved since a year ago. Thanks to the Lord, there are so many "easy days" now. Days I do not dwell on not being a mother; days I am soooooooo content; days I am elated about other people's great news of being pregnant.

I guess I just sit and wonder at times if R and I are so great with kids and have experience with taking care of them and doing a good job at it, why aren't we the ones expecting? I sit back and hope these women with pregnancies realize what a gift they have been given with their buns in the oven. Not that I am an authority on telling others what to be thankful for or anything. I just hope they realize that they have an amazing gift that not every other person is able to have.

Although I know God has a perfect plan for us, it still hurts every month when AF shows up, it still hurts when everyone around me gets pregnant easily and we are wanting it so badly.

I know our day will come... One day we will be ecstatic and know the amazing blessing that a child brings. One day we will love a child with all our might. One day we will decorate the nursery, register, plan family outings and and the rest that comes with loving a baby. I'm looking forward to it and when I think about those times we will spend together as a family I smile :)

Looking Back I Just Have To Laugh

As I am going through our things while packing up the house for the big move, I am finding all sorts of things that I had bought to prepare for our little bundle of joy. A bundle of joy that I just new would be here within the year... Things like:


A bib to surprise R with when the pregnancy test was + that says I heart my Daddy

Initials to decorate and hang on the wall for a boy name or girl name (although our name choices have changed)

A charm pack for sewing our baby's first quilt.

Wall decals for the nursery saying: Holding you, I hold everything

A Honda Pilot for toting my little bundle of joy around with me and having plenty of space for all the kids we were going to have :)



It's funny how you have a plan for your life and then you realize God's plan is sooooo much better.
His plan may push you beyond what you ever thought you could handle. It may make you examine your entire thought processing. It may convict you right in your tracks. It may be difficult, but in the end the reward is so much sweeter than the pain.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

What I Want

When I express enthusiasm about adopting/fostering several people say things like "Well I wouldn't want to have to adopt." "Well that would be to hard to give back a baby after caring for it." "I would want to experience pregnancy." ... And I have to admit, I also felt all of these things at one point.

BUT thankfully, this experience has taught me that nothing is about what I wanted. What I wanted was serving me alone, what I wanted was thinking of myself and my husband alone. Now I am filled with a passion for what God wants and serving Christ alone :)

I do want to start giving back to the orphan, fatherless, poor because it is spelled out in scripture that we should do so. God does not say it is optional... He demands it.

Even if R and I do not adopt I still want to give to this ministry in other ways. There are so many ways to give that do not have to include money:

• Pray for them.
• Give your time. Volunteer.
• Mentor a child in need.
• Give financially

I am so glad to have a heart for the children who are without parents. They are so innocent, so undeserving of the bad hand they have been dealt.


So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. Matthew 7:12

Do not take advantage of a widow or an orphan. Exodus 22:22

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27

Ramblings

Lately, I've really been trying to focus on the positive... However, it is easy because there are positive things happening in our lives right now :) But I'm learning that every attitude in every situation takes effort.

I don't just wake up in a good mood every morning, not thinking about the fact that I am not yet a mother. Somedays I have to actively choose not to dwell on it. Somedays I have to literally tell myself "You are not going to give in to this negativity today."

Yes I do need those day with a gallon of ice cream, old movies, and a box of kleenex; but I want to be able to choose a better day. And the fact is... I can choose a better day, a better attitude. With God's help, my burden can be lighter.

²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

God is AMAZING!

I am witnessing God's faithfulness in our lives constantly during this Christmas season. Sometimes the Lord waits until the very last minute to deliver us. However, the point is.... He does, in deed, deliver His children :) And I am so thankful for that!

When I really feel His love... I mean when it really hits me... I feel completely overwhelmed by it. The Grace He has given is so amazing.

We are starting a new chapter of our lives soon :) I am so excited about it! A new chapter of simplicity, a greater focus on the Lord, and sharing with others.

Lately, I feel the Lord is placing a passion for a certain something in my heart (still keeping a secret, lol). I had NO IDEA this passion even existed until recently :) I have to admit I am kind of nervous about it. I'm not sure where it will take me/us. BUT I do know that God is in the driver's seat. I know that He will provide all things for His plan unfold perfectly.

Prayer request:
Please just pray that the Lord will prepare me and Mr. R's hearts for whatever the future holds :) Pray that we surrender ourselves, our ambitions, our wants to His call. Pray that we have a heart filled with love that only God can provide.

Thank you!

We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19

 

Thankful For The Rough Sea

Some days I find myself slipping back into the "doom and gloom era" of our ttc journey, but at those times I am usually reminded of how much I love and trust in God's sovereignty. I refocus myself on His provision. Without those "bad days" I would not have had days where I have grown spiritually. Without that pain I would not know the amazing truths that I have learned along the way. What are some of those truths?

• God's plan is much better than anything I could ever come up with.
• I am so broken... so in need of God's grace. And He wants me to cry out to Him at all times.
• Nothing is about ME or my "wants", but God's glory alone.
• Trusting in myself, my husband, medicine, etc. is pointless. I can trust in God alone and He will meet all of my needs.
• LOVE others. All of God's covenant children are equal spiritually. No one person more righteous or more deserving than the other

As I look at this list of just a few of the truths that have been revealed to me how can I not be thankful for the struggle :) I want to know more, grow more, lean on God more!

Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. ³⁵ For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it.
Mark 8:34-35

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;⁶ in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs3:5-6

Conclusion to my 2nd to last post :)

Conclusion: It feels good to let it out sometimes... Maybe not in a hysterical crying way (lol), but def. in a talk about things calmly sort of way :)

Yesterday I had the chance to calmly discuss some of what R and I are going through with a family member. And I gotta tell ya... It felt pretty good :) Now there wasn't any intense emotional conversation, but it was nice that some one was showing some compassion towards our struggle. Not to say that other people don't, but sometimes once people know we have been ttc for a while w/o success they don't say anything about our problem, are very careful to not mention anything baby around us, or almost avoid "it" all together.

Now, I know I blog a lot about insensitive things people say, so it may sound like a contradiction when I say it feels good to discuss our issues with others BUT there is a difference in asking questions for selfish/judgemental reasons and asking them bc you are truly concerned. I love discussing things with those "truly concerned"... it is like free (and much needed) therapy, LOL.

When people literally avoid discussing anything baby with me it makes me feel like they look at me as if something is wrong with me :-/ Like "infertility" is some sort of plague that you should be ashamed of.

On the other hand, there are times that it is hard for me to hear people talk about pregnancy, babies, birth plans. BUT HEY!.. I'm a big girl. If I need to leave the room and cry or pray by myself I'll do it. I would rather mourn not being pregnant than feel like a hush comes over the room when I/we walk in.
P.S. When I do need to "leave the room." I don't need a lot of attention bc of it. Maybe just a little prayer or a hug is all, and some understanding that "it is ok to cry or be upset at times."

"Can I handle all that baby talk?" Well some days yes and some days no... But I definitely know that I cannot handle being isolated from friends/family who are pregnant just bc we are not yet.

Love one another with brotherly affection. Out do one another in showing honor.
Romans 12:10

The Infertility Treatment vs. Adoption Wars!?! (borrowed)

Love this post from that I borrowed from this BLOG! It is on the money :)

"I’m as competitive as the next person. Whether I’m playing dominoes, tennis or Trivial Pursuit, I like to win. I don’t often, but I like to. Competition can be a force for good: spurring us, challenging us, pushing us. But competition does NOT belong in family building. It’s one thing if those ignorant of the pain of infertility question our choices, but those within our infertility/adoption community need to support each other. From where I sit with one foot in the infertility world and one foot in the adoption world, I see way too much competition, and it drives me nuts.
Infertile and adopting couples get it from all sides. I probably hear it more because my work and radio show cover the waterfront of all alternative methods of family building, but you don’t have to scratch the surface of many internet forums or support group meetings to hear it for yourself. It may be subtle, but it’s there all the same. People who adopt internationally hear “Why didn’t you adopt children here in the US?” People who adopt infants domestically hear “Why didn’t you adopt from foster care.” People going through IVF, especially after the first failed round, hear “Why don’t you just adopt.” People moving to adoption after infertility hear “Why are you quitting, I know of someone who got pregnant on the _______(third, fifth, tenth) IVF cycle.” And heaven help the folks who choose to adopt without being infertile. They are almost past commenting, but they still hear plenty of “don’t you want children of your own?”
Competition assumes that there is something to win—that one way is better. Oh, if only infertility and adoption were so clear. What’s right for me may not be, and probably isn’t, right for you. And what’s right for you right now, may very likely change in the future. Although we share the pain of wanting children, everyone’s journey is unique.
Many of these comments come from folks who have never needed an alternative way to form their families. They ditch the condoms, buy a bottle of wine, and nine months later welcome a child into their family. For these people, the issue isn’t competition, just ignorance and insensitivity. Deal with them as you see fit, preferably without physical violence.
I want to address the green-eyed monster’s presence within our community. The dirty laundry we wouldn’t necessarily want to share with the rest of the world. People in infertility treatment may question how you can give up the biological connection. People who adopt may question why someone would continue with the uncertainty and expense of infertility treatments. People who adopt domestically may question why someone would adopt from abroad when there are kids right here at home that need families. People using their own eggs for IVF may question how someone could use donor eggs without exhausting all other options first. People who adopt children already born may question why someone would adopt an embryo.
I don’t have a problem with real, honest to goodness questions. I’m all for increased dialog and understanding. But the intent of a real question is to receive information. Many of these so-called questions are veiled, or not so veiled, attempts to judge the other person’s decision. These questions come with an inherent sense of the superiority of one method of family building.
Let’s face it; most of us opt for the easiest way to have kids. For some, there is no easy way, but they choose the next step that feels most comfortable. Ease and comfort are individual and may change with time. We have no control over what other’s outside of the sisterhood and brotherhood of alternative family building say, but we can control what we say. Let’s make a pact to celebrate all forms of family creation and drop the sense, at least outwardly, that one way is the best way. If we end up with the family we want, then we have won."

• I have actually heard the "why don't y'all just adopt?" question... My thought = Why don't you just give me 20-40k bucks? lol
• I have heard "Don't you want to have children of your own?" My thought = Our children, no matter what path is chosen for us, will be our own.
• I have heard "Why are y'all giving up? I haven't given up on y'all" My thought = either way we go, treatment or adoption, we will arrive at the same destination. Neither is giving up. Both are an extraordinary blessing from God... One is not Better than the other in my mind just different ways of getting to the same place... Parenthood :)

Fallen

After a tear-filled morning of emotional chaos I finally started cleaning up our house. As I made my way upstairs to our master bedroom I began to sraighten up my vanity. On my vanity I have a small ceramic vase... It is VERY UNSTABLE and no matter how hard I try not to knock it over it always falls to the floor while I cringe hoping I haven't destroyed it.

I was picking it up (the same way I do EVERYTIME I clean) I said to myself "I have never seen anything fall so much." and BAM. God spoke to me loud and clear :)

I have never seen anything fall so much... Except for myself. Everyday I fall to the ground and everyday I need someone to pick me up. Just as I pick up that little vase and place it back on my vanity, my Lord is there to pick me up time and time again. Except He will never cringe, and I will never be too damaged for him to repair.

What an amazing peace He offers.     

This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. Romans 3:22-24

Turning Over a New Leaf!

I just now saw another fb status of "we're expecting (again)" and for half of a second I thought this same thought that I had a week ago "Feels like I am stuck in neutral while all the other cars fly by me."

BUT I quickly countered on my own thoughts with "Wait a minute, but I'm moving... I'm not in neutral, just on a different road all together." Ahhhhhhhh Good revealation during a time that could have turned to self pity! :)

Loving God's wisdom!

A fool always loses his temper, But a wise man holds it back. Proverbs 29:11

Amazing advice!

I found an amazing blog with an amazing answer to a thoughtful question...

"As a "fertile woman" how do I deal with my infertile sister (or close friend)?" 

Melissa's Answer:

I don't remember a specific verse or book...in fact, I don't know of a book that helps a family member/close friend walk through the journey of infertility. BUT, what God taught me LOUD and CLEAR is that

 no matter WHAT was said to me or about me or implied to me or about me no matter how angry or cold Rachel may have seemed towards me (at times..not all the time) this was NOT about me

this was about a much deeper battle that, despite seeming like it was aimed at me at times, had nothing to do with me

I was not the enemy
The inability to conceive was the enemy

As a family member/friend who CAN get pregnant, it is REALLY REALLY important to understand this b.c once you understand it, you can handle the above mentioned things you can let them be angry and hurt...even if it's in your direction, b.c you don't need to take it personally

The other thing that really helped me was to realize that I couldn't do anything to make it better.

I couldn't say anything to make it better

All I could do was listen

pray

ask if I could ask questions...and be ok if she said no

It seemed that the more I allowed her to JUST BE when she was with me, the more natural it was

the less on edge she seemed

GRACE is a necessity when walking along side someone going through something so big

As someone who CAN have children easily, we MUST understand that we will NEVER understand what its like to WANT a child so badly....period.

At the same time, the person going through infertility must understand that, if not careful, they can REALLY hurt the people they love. And that the people they love, aren't the enemy. And they really DON'T understand what you are going through...not b.c they don't want to understand, but b.c they CAN'T understand.

it is SUCH a delicate road to walk"

Wow... The woman who wrote got pregnant within a month of trying while her sister struggles with infertility. Amazing words of wisdom

Operation Get Moving!

So because I have fallen into an insane habit of laying around my house doing nothing for the past few weeks. I (with the help of Joyce Meyer's quote) have decided to "move".

How have I/Am I moving today?

• Visited my sister and sick niece :)
• Cleaned our house
• Soon going for a jog with the pup and
•  Made a decision to sacrifice something I enjoy for a bigger purpose. (cant share too many details about this one)

BUT as I was reading Proverbs 8 this morning the focus was on wisdom and being sure to listen to the wisdom that God gives to you. I have been feeling a tug on my heart to do this thing for a while now, however selfishly I have pushed the thought away. But as I read this scripture this morning I quickly realized my mistake.

“ Now therefore, listen to me, my children,

For blessed are those who keep my ways.

³³ Hear instruction and be wise,

And do not disdain it.

³⁴ Blessed is the man who listens to me,

Watching daily at my gates,

Waiting at the posts of my doors.

³⁵ For whoever finds me finds life,

And obtains favor from the LORD; "

Proverbs 8:32-35

'Wisdom offers long term satisfaction and leads to life, while folly, which brings immediate gratification, ultimately leads to death.' In the new testament Jesus is the Wisdom and Word of God.

It's not about me or what I enjoy/want. It's about Christ and God's glory. Things of this world will come and go, but Heaven is forever :)

Today...

Today was better, brighter. I considered deleting my last post... but I decided against it because I hope it will remind me of where I do not want to be in the future :)

The Ugly Truth

Today I am realizing the mistake I have made in planning a large portion my life to revolve around one thing happening... I clearly have too much time on my hands today :(

• 2 years ago we traded in my 2 door car for a more "family-friendly" SUV.
• 2 years ago I decided to change my career aspirations to something that would be more family friendly. therefore discontinuing my college aspirations because my one true passion was to be a mom.
• 3 years ago we bought a large 5 bedroom house because we planned on having a large family.

Somedays I hate all the room that my suv has to offer because it reminds me that I am the only one ever riding in it. Somedays I long to be distracted by a "job" in order to take my mind off of the job that I desperately want. Somedays I am ready to give our house away to avoid walking into the 4 empty rooms; one room perfect for a nursery, another would be a perfect play room.

It is exhausting to be strong in front of everyone. It is exhausting to dwell on the fact that we are not parents. It is exhausting to try to explain your emotions to other people who do not understand. It is exhausting to always be "Aunt L" and never "Mom".

I am tired of crying, yet tired of putting on a brave face for others to see. Tired of staying positive. Tired of insensitive comments. Tired of being compared to such-and-such's friend who took 5 years, or 10 years, or 2 years to get pregnant. Tired of feeling as if I may break down at any second. Just slap worn out over it all... Wish I could hit a switch and turn off my emotions at my convienence.

This is not a typical day for me... But honestly this is what I feel like right this minute... This is the "Ugly Truth" about bad days with infertility.

Praying for some understanding and peace that only God is capable of providing.

I have no idea which step to take next. I have been in the word searching for an answer, praying diligently for a light bulb to go off in my head. Wondering if I have missed something. I don't know which direction God is wanting me to go and why He is keeping His plan for His glory so far away from me (or at least it seems far away)... I don't know what to do. Whether to go left, right, straight, or just stand still. Feels like I am stuck in neutral while all the other cars fly by me. Just praying, praying, praying for something to give... Wish my path would become a little straighter.

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
Psalm 46:10

Envy

Before we started our journey of trying to concieve a child I would have never described myself as someone who envyed others. I was never concerned with having more things, money, a better house, etc. I had all I ever wanted as far as I knew. I had a loving husband, a roof over my head, and food on our table. What more could I want???

Well, let me just say, once it became clear that we weren't one of those couples who become pregnant with the snap of our fingers envy reared her evil head! lol

I looked at a pregnant woman and thought "I want that." I looked at new mothers cuddling with their newborns and thought "I want that." I'm ashamed to say, I could no longer hear that another woman was expecting without my mind going directly to my own desires for a child. I hated these envious thoughts that ran through my head everytime I saw a friend's ultrasound or status update on facebook announcing their good news. There I was happy and content as can be, and now all I wanted was what someone else had; so much so that I completely missed the miracle that God had given to these happy couples and mothers. I missed the celebrating, the good news, and all the other good things that come with news of expecting mothers.

Although I will never be completely rid of envy, I can happily say "congratulations!" to expectant friends because I would never want another couple to struggle as we have. Pushing that envy aside grows easier everyday because of God's immeasurable love He has given to me. There are still days I struggle, days I question, days I idolize, but by God's grace I am able to come back to the peace that He so generously offers.


But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. James 3:14-16

A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot. Proverbs 14:30

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant  1 Cor 13:4

Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord. Song of Solomon 8:6 
   

"That Girl..."

So... it turns out I am "that girl who can't get pregnant"... Man it stinks somedays. Somedays I wish I were the one showing my husband a positive pregnancy test, and seeing his eyes light up. Somedays I wish I were the one thinking of ways to tell our families the news; thinking of how to decorate the nursery; sharing the "good news" with everyone around us.

But what can I share... I can share my "good news". After all, good news also means gospel. And there is no greater news then what Jesus Christ has done for me, and how He has changed my life :) That's what I can share and hold fast too... I may never get to pick out crib bedding, register at babies r us, or frame an ultrasound picture for my parents. But I am truly blessed to be able to share how Jesus is working in my life, and all He has done for me.

"And he said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation."
Mark 16:15

After Your Visit To The Infertility Doctor

So once you've gone to the doctor, then what??? Here are some things I think you should think about after your appointment.

1. Don't hesitate to pick up the phone and call the nurse/doctor to ask them questions. That is what they are there for :) A good clinic will be glad to walk you through any hesitations that you might have without pressuring you.
2. Although it may prove difficult, try to avoid reading about every little infertility test/treatment plan online. So much information available through the internet is inaccurate; your doctor is the best source of information for you.
3. Talk to your Spouse about what the appointment was like for him/her. Discuss any reservations or concerns.
4. Do not act impulsively. In an emotionally charged situation sometimes we do not think before we act. Take your time and think about the next step your doctor has suggested. Does the next step entail any risk or side effects?
5. Discuss your limits on what you are willing to undergo. Not only ethically but financially. Now these limits do not have to be set in stone they may change with time, but you might just make a list such as: iui - yes, ivf - need more research/questions answered, surrogate - no, embryo adoption - no. Once you do more research you may change your opinion on each of these procedures, but it's good to have an idea before starting down this road.

And of course... PRAY and seek to do things that are pleasing to God :)  

And that's my 2 cents for whatever it's worth!

Future Options...

So... I have previously stated that we are putting IF test/treatments on a pause, and I am still sticking by that for now. But in case anyone reading this is wondering what the next step would be in terms of any ARTs (assisted reproductive technology)/treatments. Here it is:

• At first (after initial testing) the doctor believed we would be great cadidates for the iui. Well 2 iui's later and still no pregnancy :)
• Dr. W says he typically doesn't change the course of treatment for patients in our situation until 3 iui's have failed...
• If #3 iui fails, it in no way means that we will never be parents, but...
• If we were to pursue a 3rd iui (which some day we may do) and if it failed we would need to reevaluate our treatment path.
• I'm not sure what his next suggestion would be and I refuse to jump that far ahead of everything...

So for now... that is all we know about that :)

Where's My Window???

Have you ever heard the expression "God doesn't close a door without leaving an open window." Well... I DO believe this is true. God promises that He has a plan for us (Jeremiah 29:11)... But today I can't help but wonder "Where's my window?" LOL

Or better yet... "Which window would you like me to jump through?" I know the Lord has something in mind, but my impatience sometimes gets the best of me :) Although I am excited about all of the "Open windows" God is providing for us, I do wish one window would have a sign beside it saying "Use this window to glorify God!" We are trusting the Holy Spirit to lead us down the right path. I am certain that one direction will appear clear in God's time.

I am so thankful for the many blessings He has given to us :)

"A life devoted to things is a dead life, a stump; a God-shaped life is a flourishing tree." Proverbs 11:28