Awesome Resolution Quote :)

"This year, let us ask God to dissolve all our hopes (however good they may be!) into a single hope: to know Christ and to be found in Him. May this be a year of desire radically transformed, a deeper, truer, knowing of Christ as our All-Sufficient One."

A New Year... well almost :)

New Year's Eve (sigh). Next month marks 2 1/2 years of me and R trying to grow our family and I cannot believe be how content I am right now. I think it is because I know that we will be given the gift of loving and nurturing one or more of God's little angels :) Whether through biological, foster, or adopting, I believe we will be parents.

What I learned in 2011 is:

• Don't put God in a box (don't place limits on the Almighty God)
• God before others, others before self. We are called to LOVE others no matter their circumstances or offenses (and this does not mean simply smiling at a stranger... it means really loving them, sympathizing with them, wanting the best for them)
• Pray (and think) before you act
• Talk about how "I am feeling" with others. Don't hold everything in. God has given me supportive family and friends to share with.
• I am inclined to be FAR more selfish than I ever thought I was or could be. Because of that always ask: Who am I serving with my actions, thoughts, or words.
• When I do become a mother, I think I will appreciate it much more than I ever would have not going through any of this (not that other moms are less appreciative).

Happy New Year!

Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:19       

What I Want

When I express enthusiasm about adopting/fostering several people say things like "Well I wouldn't want to have to adopt." "Well that would be to hard to give back a baby after caring for it." "I would want to experience pregnancy." ... And I have to admit, I also felt all of these things at one point.

BUT thankfully, this experience has taught me that nothing is about what I wanted. What I wanted was serving me alone, what I wanted was thinking of myself and my husband alone. Now I am filled with a passion for what God wants and serving Christ alone :)

I do want to start giving back to the orphan, fatherless, poor because it is spelled out in scripture that we should do so. God does not say it is optional... He demands it.

Even if R and I do not adopt I still want to give to this ministry in other ways. There are so many ways to give that do not have to include money:

• Pray for them.
• Give your time. Volunteer.
• Mentor a child in need.
• Give financially

I am so glad to have a heart for the children who are without parents. They are so innocent, so undeserving of the bad hand they have been dealt.


So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. Matthew 7:12

Do not take advantage of a widow or an orphan. Exodus 22:22

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27

Ramblings

Lately, I've really been trying to focus on the positive... However, it is easy because there are positive things happening in our lives right now :) But I'm learning that every attitude in every situation takes effort.

I don't just wake up in a good mood every morning, not thinking about the fact that I am not yet a mother. Somedays I have to actively choose not to dwell on it. Somedays I have to literally tell myself "You are not going to give in to this negativity today."

Yes I do need those day with a gallon of ice cream, old movies, and a box of kleenex; but I want to be able to choose a better day. And the fact is... I can choose a better day, a better attitude. With God's help, my burden can be lighter.

²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

Thankful For The Rough Sea

Some days I find myself slipping back into the "doom and gloom era" of our ttc journey, but at those times I am usually reminded of how much I love and trust in God's sovereignty. I refocus myself on His provision. Without those "bad days" I would not have had days where I have grown spiritually. Without that pain I would not know the amazing truths that I have learned along the way. What are some of those truths?

• God's plan is much better than anything I could ever come up with.
• I am so broken... so in need of God's grace. And He wants me to cry out to Him at all times.
• Nothing is about ME or my "wants", but God's glory alone.
• Trusting in myself, my husband, medicine, etc. is pointless. I can trust in God alone and He will meet all of my needs.
• LOVE others. All of God's covenant children are equal spiritually. No one person more righteous or more deserving than the other

As I look at this list of just a few of the truths that have been revealed to me how can I not be thankful for the struggle :) I want to know more, grow more, lean on God more!

Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. ³⁵ For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it.
Mark 8:34-35

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;⁶ in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs3:5-6

Conclusion to my 2nd to last post :)

Conclusion: It feels good to let it out sometimes... Maybe not in a hysterical crying way (lol), but def. in a talk about things calmly sort of way :)

Yesterday I had the chance to calmly discuss some of what R and I are going through with a family member. And I gotta tell ya... It felt pretty good :) Now there wasn't any intense emotional conversation, but it was nice that some one was showing some compassion towards our struggle. Not to say that other people don't, but sometimes once people know we have been ttc for a while w/o success they don't say anything about our problem, are very careful to not mention anything baby around us, or almost avoid "it" all together.

Now, I know I blog a lot about insensitive things people say, so it may sound like a contradiction when I say it feels good to discuss our issues with others BUT there is a difference in asking questions for selfish/judgemental reasons and asking them bc you are truly concerned. I love discussing things with those "truly concerned"... it is like free (and much needed) therapy, LOL.

When people literally avoid discussing anything baby with me it makes me feel like they look at me as if something is wrong with me :-/ Like "infertility" is some sort of plague that you should be ashamed of.

On the other hand, there are times that it is hard for me to hear people talk about pregnancy, babies, birth plans. BUT HEY!.. I'm a big girl. If I need to leave the room and cry or pray by myself I'll do it. I would rather mourn not being pregnant than feel like a hush comes over the room when I/we walk in.
P.S. When I do need to "leave the room." I don't need a lot of attention bc of it. Maybe just a little prayer or a hug is all, and some understanding that "it is ok to cry or be upset at times."

"Can I handle all that baby talk?" Well some days yes and some days no... But I definitely know that I cannot handle being isolated from friends/family who are pregnant just bc we are not yet.

Love one another with brotherly affection. Out do one another in showing honor.
Romans 12:10

The Infertility Treatment vs. Adoption Wars!?! (borrowed)

Love this post from that I borrowed from this BLOG! It is on the money :)

"I’m as competitive as the next person. Whether I’m playing dominoes, tennis or Trivial Pursuit, I like to win. I don’t often, but I like to. Competition can be a force for good: spurring us, challenging us, pushing us. But competition does NOT belong in family building. It’s one thing if those ignorant of the pain of infertility question our choices, but those within our infertility/adoption community need to support each other. From where I sit with one foot in the infertility world and one foot in the adoption world, I see way too much competition, and it drives me nuts.
Infertile and adopting couples get it from all sides. I probably hear it more because my work and radio show cover the waterfront of all alternative methods of family building, but you don’t have to scratch the surface of many internet forums or support group meetings to hear it for yourself. It may be subtle, but it’s there all the same. People who adopt internationally hear “Why didn’t you adopt children here in the US?” People who adopt infants domestically hear “Why didn’t you adopt from foster care.” People going through IVF, especially after the first failed round, hear “Why don’t you just adopt.” People moving to adoption after infertility hear “Why are you quitting, I know of someone who got pregnant on the _______(third, fifth, tenth) IVF cycle.” And heaven help the folks who choose to adopt without being infertile. They are almost past commenting, but they still hear plenty of “don’t you want children of your own?”
Competition assumes that there is something to win—that one way is better. Oh, if only infertility and adoption were so clear. What’s right for me may not be, and probably isn’t, right for you. And what’s right for you right now, may very likely change in the future. Although we share the pain of wanting children, everyone’s journey is unique.
Many of these comments come from folks who have never needed an alternative way to form their families. They ditch the condoms, buy a bottle of wine, and nine months later welcome a child into their family. For these people, the issue isn’t competition, just ignorance and insensitivity. Deal with them as you see fit, preferably without physical violence.
I want to address the green-eyed monster’s presence within our community. The dirty laundry we wouldn’t necessarily want to share with the rest of the world. People in infertility treatment may question how you can give up the biological connection. People who adopt may question why someone would continue with the uncertainty and expense of infertility treatments. People who adopt domestically may question why someone would adopt from abroad when there are kids right here at home that need families. People using their own eggs for IVF may question how someone could use donor eggs without exhausting all other options first. People who adopt children already born may question why someone would adopt an embryo.
I don’t have a problem with real, honest to goodness questions. I’m all for increased dialog and understanding. But the intent of a real question is to receive information. Many of these so-called questions are veiled, or not so veiled, attempts to judge the other person’s decision. These questions come with an inherent sense of the superiority of one method of family building.
Let’s face it; most of us opt for the easiest way to have kids. For some, there is no easy way, but they choose the next step that feels most comfortable. Ease and comfort are individual and may change with time. We have no control over what other’s outside of the sisterhood and brotherhood of alternative family building say, but we can control what we say. Let’s make a pact to celebrate all forms of family creation and drop the sense, at least outwardly, that one way is the best way. If we end up with the family we want, then we have won."

• I have actually heard the "why don't y'all just adopt?" question... My thought = Why don't you just give me 20-40k bucks? lol
• I have heard "Don't you want to have children of your own?" My thought = Our children, no matter what path is chosen for us, will be our own.
• I have heard "Why are y'all giving up? I haven't given up on y'all" My thought = either way we go, treatment or adoption, we will arrive at the same destination. Neither is giving up. Both are an extraordinary blessing from God... One is not Better than the other in my mind just different ways of getting to the same place... Parenthood :)

Fallen

After a tear-filled morning of emotional chaos I finally started cleaning up our house. As I made my way upstairs to our master bedroom I began to sraighten up my vanity. On my vanity I have a small ceramic vase... It is VERY UNSTABLE and no matter how hard I try not to knock it over it always falls to the floor while I cringe hoping I haven't destroyed it.

I was picking it up (the same way I do EVERYTIME I clean) I said to myself "I have never seen anything fall so much." and BAM. God spoke to me loud and clear :)

I have never seen anything fall so much... Except for myself. Everyday I fall to the ground and everyday I need someone to pick me up. Just as I pick up that little vase and place it back on my vanity, my Lord is there to pick me up time and time again. Except He will never cringe, and I will never be too damaged for him to repair.

What an amazing peace He offers.     

This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. Romans 3:22-24

Turning Over a New Leaf!

I just now saw another fb status of "we're expecting (again)" and for half of a second I thought this same thought that I had a week ago "Feels like I am stuck in neutral while all the other cars fly by me."

BUT I quickly countered on my own thoughts with "Wait a minute, but I'm moving... I'm not in neutral, just on a different road all together." Ahhhhhhhh Good revealation during a time that could have turned to self pity! :)

Loving God's wisdom!

A fool always loses his temper, But a wise man holds it back. Proverbs 29:11

Amazing advice!

I found an amazing blog with an amazing answer to a thoughtful question...

"As a "fertile woman" how do I deal with my infertile sister (or close friend)?" 

Melissa's Answer:

I don't remember a specific verse or book...in fact, I don't know of a book that helps a family member/close friend walk through the journey of infertility. BUT, what God taught me LOUD and CLEAR is that

 no matter WHAT was said to me or about me or implied to me or about me no matter how angry or cold Rachel may have seemed towards me (at times..not all the time) this was NOT about me

this was about a much deeper battle that, despite seeming like it was aimed at me at times, had nothing to do with me

I was not the enemy
The inability to conceive was the enemy

As a family member/friend who CAN get pregnant, it is REALLY REALLY important to understand this b.c once you understand it, you can handle the above mentioned things you can let them be angry and hurt...even if it's in your direction, b.c you don't need to take it personally

The other thing that really helped me was to realize that I couldn't do anything to make it better.

I couldn't say anything to make it better

All I could do was listen

pray

ask if I could ask questions...and be ok if she said no

It seemed that the more I allowed her to JUST BE when she was with me, the more natural it was

the less on edge she seemed

GRACE is a necessity when walking along side someone going through something so big

As someone who CAN have children easily, we MUST understand that we will NEVER understand what its like to WANT a child so badly....period.

At the same time, the person going through infertility must understand that, if not careful, they can REALLY hurt the people they love. And that the people they love, aren't the enemy. And they really DON'T understand what you are going through...not b.c they don't want to understand, but b.c they CAN'T understand.

it is SUCH a delicate road to walk"

Wow... The woman who wrote got pregnant within a month of trying while her sister struggles with infertility. Amazing words of wisdom

Operation Get Moving!

So because I have fallen into an insane habit of laying around my house doing nothing for the past few weeks. I (with the help of Joyce Meyer's quote) have decided to "move".

How have I/Am I moving today?

• Visited my sister and sick niece :)
• Cleaned our house
• Soon going for a jog with the pup and
•  Made a decision to sacrifice something I enjoy for a bigger purpose. (cant share too many details about this one)

BUT as I was reading Proverbs 8 this morning the focus was on wisdom and being sure to listen to the wisdom that God gives to you. I have been feeling a tug on my heart to do this thing for a while now, however selfishly I have pushed the thought away. But as I read this scripture this morning I quickly realized my mistake.

“ Now therefore, listen to me, my children,

For blessed are those who keep my ways.

³³ Hear instruction and be wise,

And do not disdain it.

³⁴ Blessed is the man who listens to me,

Watching daily at my gates,

Waiting at the posts of my doors.

³⁵ For whoever finds me finds life,

And obtains favor from the LORD; "

Proverbs 8:32-35

'Wisdom offers long term satisfaction and leads to life, while folly, which brings immediate gratification, ultimately leads to death.' In the new testament Jesus is the Wisdom and Word of God.

It's not about me or what I enjoy/want. It's about Christ and God's glory. Things of this world will come and go, but Heaven is forever :)

Time To Move

Not literally, although our home is for sale and it would be great to move soon, lol. But after reading an amazing quote from Joyce Meyer yesterday I had a light bulb moment :)

"You need to be moving if you want God to show you which way to go." -Joyce Meyer

How amazing are those words when put together! Of course I had a moment of "How/what/where should I be moving?" And after a short moment of pondering this, it became clear that the God gives us instructions on how to move as a Christian. For example, focusing my energy on kind gestures to others, sharing the gospel with friends and strangers alike, volunteering (at church or in the community), cooking someone who is sick a meal, etc. There are so many ways to exalt the gifts God has given to me. I am 100% guilty of sitting in my house reading, praying, reading some more, praying some more, and all that is great. However, Jesus came to share the good news with others not to dabble in things this world has to offer. He commands us to share that good news as well. Maybe for some it's a missions trip and for others it may be just a compassionate gesture to a stranger, but the possibilities are endless :)

Have you ever stopped to think why Jesus always references fishers of men, instead of hunters of men??? Think about how fishermen catch their fish; they cast out their nets and see what they get. They do not pick and choose their prizes or stalk a specific animal as a hunter would do. They get what they get. This is how we are called to share the gospel. Throw ourselves out there and see who responds. We should not wait for what we think is the appropriate person to share the good news with, but instead share whenever the oppurtunity arrises and hope that you catch something :)

"And he said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.”"
Matthew 4:19

Today...

Today was better, brighter. I considered deleting my last post... but I decided against it because I hope it will remind me of where I do not want to be in the future :)

"That Girl..."

So... it turns out I am "that girl who can't get pregnant"... Man it stinks somedays. Somedays I wish I were the one showing my husband a positive pregnancy test, and seeing his eyes light up. Somedays I wish I were the one thinking of ways to tell our families the news; thinking of how to decorate the nursery; sharing the "good news" with everyone around us.

But what can I share... I can share my "good news". After all, good news also means gospel. And there is no greater news then what Jesus Christ has done for me, and how He has changed my life :) That's what I can share and hold fast too... I may never get to pick out crib bedding, register at babies r us, or frame an ultrasound picture for my parents. But I am truly blessed to be able to share how Jesus is working in my life, and all He has done for me.

"And he said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation."
Mark 16:15

After Your Visit To The Infertility Doctor

So once you've gone to the doctor, then what??? Here are some things I think you should think about after your appointment.

1. Don't hesitate to pick up the phone and call the nurse/doctor to ask them questions. That is what they are there for :) A good clinic will be glad to walk you through any hesitations that you might have without pressuring you.
2. Although it may prove difficult, try to avoid reading about every little infertility test/treatment plan online. So much information available through the internet is inaccurate; your doctor is the best source of information for you.
3. Talk to your Spouse about what the appointment was like for him/her. Discuss any reservations or concerns.
4. Do not act impulsively. In an emotionally charged situation sometimes we do not think before we act. Take your time and think about the next step your doctor has suggested. Does the next step entail any risk or side effects?
5. Discuss your limits on what you are willing to undergo. Not only ethically but financially. Now these limits do not have to be set in stone they may change with time, but you might just make a list such as: iui - yes, ivf - need more research/questions answered, surrogate - no, embryo adoption - no. Once you do more research you may change your opinion on each of these procedures, but it's good to have an idea before starting down this road.

And of course... PRAY and seek to do things that are pleasing to God :)  

And that's my 2 cents for whatever it's worth!

Where's My Window???

Have you ever heard the expression "God doesn't close a door without leaving an open window." Well... I DO believe this is true. God promises that He has a plan for us (Jeremiah 29:11)... But today I can't help but wonder "Where's my window?" LOL

Or better yet... "Which window would you like me to jump through?" I know the Lord has something in mind, but my impatience sometimes gets the best of me :) Although I am excited about all of the "Open windows" God is providing for us, I do wish one window would have a sign beside it saying "Use this window to glorify God!" We are trusting the Holy Spirit to lead us down the right path. I am certain that one direction will appear clear in God's time.

I am so thankful for the many blessings He has given to us :)

"A life devoted to things is a dead life, a stump; a God-shaped life is a flourishing tree." Proverbs 11:28

Encouraging Article

Stole this from this blog and I love it!!! Can't wait to see which way we will travel... By air or by sea... Both will be rewarding in their own way :)

From a letter written to Dear Abby:
(The author of this letter is the mother of 2 adopted children)

Deciding to have a baby is like planning a trip to Australia. You've heard it's a wonderful place, you've read many guidebooks and feel certain you're ready to go. Everyone you know has traveled there by plane. They say it can be a turbulent flight with occasional rough landings, but you can look forward to being pampered on the trip.
So you go to the airport and ask the ticket agent for a ticket to Australia. All around you excited people are boarding planes for Australia. It seems there is no seat for you, you'll have to wait for the next flight. Impatient, but anticipating a wonderful trip, you wait... and wait... and wait.
Flights to Australia continue to come and go. People say silly things like, "Relax. You'll get on a flight soon." Other people actually get on a plane and then cancel their trip, to which you cry, "It's not fair!"
After a long time the ticket agent tells you, "I'm sorry, we're not going to be able to get you on a plane to Australia. Perhaps you should think about going by boat."
"By BOAT!" you say. "Going by boat will take a very long time and it costs a great deal of money. I really had my heart set on going by plane." So you go home and think about not going to Australia at all. You wonder if Australia will be as beautiful if you approach it by sea rather than air. But you have long dreamed of this wonderful place, and finally you decide to travel by boat.
It is a long trip, many months over many rough seas. No one pampers you. You wonder if you will ever see Australia. Meanwhile, your friends have flown back and forth to Australia two or three more times, marveling about each trip.
Then one glorious day, the boat docks in Australia. It is more exquisite than you ever imagined, and the beauty is magnified by your long days at sea. You have made many wonderful friends during your voyage, and you find yourself comparing stories with others who also traveled by sea rather than by air.
People continue to fly to Australia as often as they like, but you are able to travel only once, perhaps twice. Some say things like, "Oh be glad you didn't fly. My flight was horrible; traveling by sea is so easy."
You will always wonder what it would have been like to fly to Australia. Still, you know God blessed you with a special appreciation of Australia, and the beauty of Australia is not in the way you get there, but in the place itself.

It is amazing to know that not everyone arrives at their destination the same way :)

The "Adoption Seed"

At church we have been going through the miracle of adoption. Not from the world's viewpoint but from a Godly viewpoint.

As Christians we have all been adopted into God's covenant family. It is only by the blood of Christ that we are able to enter into this covenant and cry out "Father". God is the Father over all of us. He loves us regardless of our last name, our families reputation, our past sins, etc. No one Christian comes before the other and that simplicity is what it is all about: BELIEVE, ask for forgiveness, repent, and obey. That's the formula :) And that is why so many people struggle with Christianity because it's hard to understand how it can be so easy... so simple. But because of Jesus Christ dying on the cross it is that easy! That was his message :)

I'm starting to see adoption not as a possible solution, but as a blessing. Just look at the blessing we have been given by our true and holy Father to come into his family. What a blessing it would be to offer that same love to another person.

Now, now do not be alarmed!... Although contrary to my normally impulsive nature, I am not going to run out and contact an adoption agency tomorrow, lol. First off it is not an easy process and secondly it is not a cheap process. I don't know if this new view will help Mr. R and I or not; I may just be able to offer some advice to others who are struggling in a similar situation. We still have some treatment options that we are willing to explore, BUT our limitations on which infertility treatments we are willing to undergo may someday cause us to reevaluate our position on adoption. And I am actually excited about the possibility that we could one day be adoptive parents! I know that if God does lead us in the direction of adoption it in no way will be an easy road, but if it is what He wants for us He will make a way :)

Adoption will in no way take away pain caused by infertility and it should not be pursued as a "second option." So having said that I am now waiting like a spectator; excited to see the plan God has in store for us. To concieve, to adopt, or something else... I truly cannot wait for it to unfold!

"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him."
1 Samuel 1:27

 

Things To Do Before Visiting The Infertility Doctor

I wish I would have had a "to do" list before we made our intial doctors appointment with Dr. W, our RE. So in case someone else is wondering what to do before visiting here is my 2 cents on it :)

1. PRAY! Pray for guidance and wisdom during this journey. This is absolutely the most important part of the process to me.

2. Only you know when to pick up the phone and schedule the appointment. Keep in mind you are not considered "infertile" until you have tried to concieve for a year without success, or until you have tried to concieve for 6 months without success if you are over 35 years of age. Once you have reached one of those points YOU will know when the time is right for YOU.

3. Remember you are not alone in making this decision. Consult your spouse and explore what his or her feelings are about scheduling an appointment. Talk about reservations that you may have about the appointment.

4. Get in touch with your insurance about coverage that they offer for infertility testing. Most insurances offer little to no coverage for infertility testing and treatments, and unfortunately the bills can quickly get overwhelming. If you have a budget, discuss exactly what you will budget before beginning the infertility journey.

5. Decide what you are looking for in an RE. We wanted a fairly conservative RE with the least invasive amount of testing/treatment as possible.

5. If possible obtain references for doctors. If a friend or family member pursued IF tests/treatments ask them about their doctor and if they would use them again.

6. Talk to someone who shares your faith for an extra perspective on your situation. Ask your pastor if they know anyone who has been in a similar situation that you could speak with.

And there are my thoughts on that! :) Of course you can add some things or take some things away, but I believe making sure to do the above things can save you some time and some headaches.

KEEP GOD'S GLORY ON THE FOREFRONT OF YOUR MIND ALL OF THE TIME. When in doubt pray, pray, and pray some more.

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

What not to say to an infertile person

Well I heard it again yesterday... Another invasive set of questions, another set of ridiculous suggestions.

It really feels uneasy to me when I say "Who knows we may just not be parents or not be able to have our own kids." And I hear "I don't think you guys are at that point yet." REALLY... U "dont think" we are there yet, and you would know how??? Are you secretly a Reproductive Specialists and I never knew about it... Do you know more about my/our fertility than I do??? I don't think so.

The fact is Mr. R and I have decided to keep some things to ourselves, so to say u "don't think" we are at that point is a bit ridiculous bc how could you have all the facts! And what if we are at that point... What if we adopt...What is "that point" that you speak of exactly??? despair, hopelessness, doom???

Of course I am hopeful that we will concieve our own child. Believe me... That is what I am hoping for. But if this experience has taught me anything it is that nothing is certain or guaranteed! The only certainty we can find is in Christ. Not what "we think" should happen.

I know I am just venting, but comments like this make me wanna forget about opening up about infertility to anyone.

Other comments not to say to an infertile:
U can borrow my kids anytime
Be thankful u haven't had any yet (from someone who's kids misbehave)
How's his sperm count/your eggs (just a bit personal)
It'll happen when it's supposed to happen (this one is true, but I hear it so often I wanna pull my hair out)
You're thinking about it too much (some how my wrong thoughts are causing this. Really?)
Well I would adopt if I was to have problems concieving (adoption won't heal the loss of never being able carry or give birth. While adoption is a blessing I would never want it to be our "last resort". It should be our path God led us down)
Maybe you should just stop trying and it will happen.

Almost everyone who battles infertility is much more educated than the average public about infertility. Chances are they've heard your advice a hundred times already. Just think before you speak is all :)