Awesome Resolution Quote :)

"This year, let us ask God to dissolve all our hopes (however good they may be!) into a single hope: to know Christ and to be found in Him. May this be a year of desire radically transformed, a deeper, truer, knowing of Christ as our All-Sufficient One."

Thankful For The Rough Sea

Some days I find myself slipping back into the "doom and gloom era" of our ttc journey, but at those times I am usually reminded of how much I love and trust in God's sovereignty. I refocus myself on His provision. Without those "bad days" I would not have had days where I have grown spiritually. Without that pain I would not know the amazing truths that I have learned along the way. What are some of those truths?

• God's plan is much better than anything I could ever come up with.
• I am so broken... so in need of God's grace. And He wants me to cry out to Him at all times.
• Nothing is about ME or my "wants", but God's glory alone.
• Trusting in myself, my husband, medicine, etc. is pointless. I can trust in God alone and He will meet all of my needs.
• LOVE others. All of God's covenant children are equal spiritually. No one person more righteous or more deserving than the other

As I look at this list of just a few of the truths that have been revealed to me how can I not be thankful for the struggle :) I want to know more, grow more, lean on God more!

Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. ³⁵ For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it.
Mark 8:34-35

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;⁶ in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs3:5-6

The Infertility Treatment vs. Adoption Wars!?! (borrowed)

Love this post from that I borrowed from this BLOG! It is on the money :)

"I’m as competitive as the next person. Whether I’m playing dominoes, tennis or Trivial Pursuit, I like to win. I don’t often, but I like to. Competition can be a force for good: spurring us, challenging us, pushing us. But competition does NOT belong in family building. It’s one thing if those ignorant of the pain of infertility question our choices, but those within our infertility/adoption community need to support each other. From where I sit with one foot in the infertility world and one foot in the adoption world, I see way too much competition, and it drives me nuts.
Infertile and adopting couples get it from all sides. I probably hear it more because my work and radio show cover the waterfront of all alternative methods of family building, but you don’t have to scratch the surface of many internet forums or support group meetings to hear it for yourself. It may be subtle, but it’s there all the same. People who adopt internationally hear “Why didn’t you adopt children here in the US?” People who adopt infants domestically hear “Why didn’t you adopt from foster care.” People going through IVF, especially after the first failed round, hear “Why don’t you just adopt.” People moving to adoption after infertility hear “Why are you quitting, I know of someone who got pregnant on the _______(third, fifth, tenth) IVF cycle.” And heaven help the folks who choose to adopt without being infertile. They are almost past commenting, but they still hear plenty of “don’t you want children of your own?”
Competition assumes that there is something to win—that one way is better. Oh, if only infertility and adoption were so clear. What’s right for me may not be, and probably isn’t, right for you. And what’s right for you right now, may very likely change in the future. Although we share the pain of wanting children, everyone’s journey is unique.
Many of these comments come from folks who have never needed an alternative way to form their families. They ditch the condoms, buy a bottle of wine, and nine months later welcome a child into their family. For these people, the issue isn’t competition, just ignorance and insensitivity. Deal with them as you see fit, preferably without physical violence.
I want to address the green-eyed monster’s presence within our community. The dirty laundry we wouldn’t necessarily want to share with the rest of the world. People in infertility treatment may question how you can give up the biological connection. People who adopt may question why someone would continue with the uncertainty and expense of infertility treatments. People who adopt domestically may question why someone would adopt from abroad when there are kids right here at home that need families. People using their own eggs for IVF may question how someone could use donor eggs without exhausting all other options first. People who adopt children already born may question why someone would adopt an embryo.
I don’t have a problem with real, honest to goodness questions. I’m all for increased dialog and understanding. But the intent of a real question is to receive information. Many of these so-called questions are veiled, or not so veiled, attempts to judge the other person’s decision. These questions come with an inherent sense of the superiority of one method of family building.
Let’s face it; most of us opt for the easiest way to have kids. For some, there is no easy way, but they choose the next step that feels most comfortable. Ease and comfort are individual and may change with time. We have no control over what other’s outside of the sisterhood and brotherhood of alternative family building say, but we can control what we say. Let’s make a pact to celebrate all forms of family creation and drop the sense, at least outwardly, that one way is the best way. If we end up with the family we want, then we have won."

• I have actually heard the "why don't y'all just adopt?" question... My thought = Why don't you just give me 20-40k bucks? lol
• I have heard "Don't you want to have children of your own?" My thought = Our children, no matter what path is chosen for us, will be our own.
• I have heard "Why are y'all giving up? I haven't given up on y'all" My thought = either way we go, treatment or adoption, we will arrive at the same destination. Neither is giving up. Both are an extraordinary blessing from God... One is not Better than the other in my mind just different ways of getting to the same place... Parenthood :)

Operation Get Moving!

So because I have fallen into an insane habit of laying around my house doing nothing for the past few weeks. I (with the help of Joyce Meyer's quote) have decided to "move".

How have I/Am I moving today?

• Visited my sister and sick niece :)
• Cleaned our house
• Soon going for a jog with the pup and
•  Made a decision to sacrifice something I enjoy for a bigger purpose. (cant share too many details about this one)

BUT as I was reading Proverbs 8 this morning the focus was on wisdom and being sure to listen to the wisdom that God gives to you. I have been feeling a tug on my heart to do this thing for a while now, however selfishly I have pushed the thought away. But as I read this scripture this morning I quickly realized my mistake.

“ Now therefore, listen to me, my children,

For blessed are those who keep my ways.

³³ Hear instruction and be wise,

And do not disdain it.

³⁴ Blessed is the man who listens to me,

Watching daily at my gates,

Waiting at the posts of my doors.

³⁵ For whoever finds me finds life,

And obtains favor from the LORD; "

Proverbs 8:32-35

'Wisdom offers long term satisfaction and leads to life, while folly, which brings immediate gratification, ultimately leads to death.' In the new testament Jesus is the Wisdom and Word of God.

It's not about me or what I enjoy/want. It's about Christ and God's glory. Things of this world will come and go, but Heaven is forever :)

Where's My Window???

Have you ever heard the expression "God doesn't close a door without leaving an open window." Well... I DO believe this is true. God promises that He has a plan for us (Jeremiah 29:11)... But today I can't help but wonder "Where's my window?" LOL

Or better yet... "Which window would you like me to jump through?" I know the Lord has something in mind, but my impatience sometimes gets the best of me :) Although I am excited about all of the "Open windows" God is providing for us, I do wish one window would have a sign beside it saying "Use this window to glorify God!" We are trusting the Holy Spirit to lead us down the right path. I am certain that one direction will appear clear in God's time.

I am so thankful for the many blessings He has given to us :)

"A life devoted to things is a dead life, a stump; a God-shaped life is a flourishing tree." Proverbs 11:28

Things To Do Before Visiting The Infertility Doctor

I wish I would have had a "to do" list before we made our intial doctors appointment with Dr. W, our RE. So in case someone else is wondering what to do before visiting here is my 2 cents on it :)

1. PRAY! Pray for guidance and wisdom during this journey. This is absolutely the most important part of the process to me.

2. Only you know when to pick up the phone and schedule the appointment. Keep in mind you are not considered "infertile" until you have tried to concieve for a year without success, or until you have tried to concieve for 6 months without success if you are over 35 years of age. Once you have reached one of those points YOU will know when the time is right for YOU.

3. Remember you are not alone in making this decision. Consult your spouse and explore what his or her feelings are about scheduling an appointment. Talk about reservations that you may have about the appointment.

4. Get in touch with your insurance about coverage that they offer for infertility testing. Most insurances offer little to no coverage for infertility testing and treatments, and unfortunately the bills can quickly get overwhelming. If you have a budget, discuss exactly what you will budget before beginning the infertility journey.

5. Decide what you are looking for in an RE. We wanted a fairly conservative RE with the least invasive amount of testing/treatment as possible.

5. If possible obtain references for doctors. If a friend or family member pursued IF tests/treatments ask them about their doctor and if they would use them again.

6. Talk to someone who shares your faith for an extra perspective on your situation. Ask your pastor if they know anyone who has been in a similar situation that you could speak with.

And there are my thoughts on that! :) Of course you can add some things or take some things away, but I believe making sure to do the above things can save you some time and some headaches.

KEEP GOD'S GLORY ON THE FOREFRONT OF YOUR MIND ALL OF THE TIME. When in doubt pray, pray, and pray some more.

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

Enjoyed this from Nancy Leigh DeMoss...

“God is the Creator, Author, and Giver of life. Not surprisingly, as the sworn enemy of God, Satan hates life. He has always sought to destroy it. He persuaded Adam and Eve to eat of the forbidden fruit, knowing that if they did, they would die, as God had promised. When Adam and Eve gave birth to two sons, Satan incited the elder of the two to murder his younger brother. Satan is the thief Jesus spoke of who ‘comes only to steal and kill and destroy’ (John 10:10, italics added). His intent and strategy are precisely the opposite of God’s plan, for in the same verse Jesus says, ‘I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.’ As a destroyer of life, Satan is definitely not into encouraging childbearing. Every child that is born has the potential to thwart his purposes by receiving God’s grace and becoming a subject of the kingdom of God. So anything that hinders or discourages women from fulfilling their God-given calling to be bearers and nurturers of life furthers Satan’s efforts.”

Satan will jump on any chance to prevent God's covenant family from growing. But God is stronger than Satan, and if we seek him with all of our heart His promises are abundant :)

Some Clarity :)

Mr. R and I have discussed what our limits are, in terms of treatment, and where our stopping point would be. After much prayer and discussion it is nice to finally have a clear line. I believe that it is extremely important for every couple battling infertility (or ttc problems) to discuss their limits before seeking testing and treatment. Anyone is capable of letting their emotions affect their decision making. And when dealing with an emotional rollercoaster such as infertility, it is best to decide your limits while you have a clear mind.

We are praying that God's glory will continue to be first in our hearts above anything else. And we are praying for His guidance and His wisdom. It is amazing to feel the holy spirit leading us in such a clear direction :)

Feeling At Peace in The Storm

I don't know what it is about the past few days; I just know that my mind has not been clouded with doubt or worry at all. Maybe it's because Mr. R is coming home, or maybe because my schedule is busy. I am not sure why this peaceful feeling is here, but I feel that the Holy Spirit is definitely at work in me.

I have found an outlet at church to serve, and I am very excited about it :) For so long I have put so much concentration into being a mother and how I would parent/raise my child to follow Christ, it is nice to have a purpose apart from "my plan" (even if it is a small one).

I have been looking into a missions trip that focuses on VBS in a foreign impoverished country. God does not leave all of the doors shut and I am so greatful for his Love and provision. I never gave thought to being a "spiritual mother" until recently; Someone who can set a godly example for a child.

I'll say it again and again, lol... God's plan is greater than I any plan I could ever dream up. I am only getting to see a small fraction of the beautiful picture He is painting.

I compare it to when I am painting a picture. When I first start it is just a rough sketch, then I start filling in the shadows and you start to see some shapes. But, the beauty of the painting is not revealed until the last few hours when the highlights and details are perfected. I know at the end of this their will be a masterpiece, God's masterpiece.

I will look ahead, with expectation, towards the plan He has for me. I will run after Him with all of my heart, because He is the only one that can give me this peace. God is great and He can do great things. I am indeed looking forward to His plan unfolding; whatever the plan may be.

Psalm 5:3 "In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly."


I love the story of Jehoshphat and the Moabites and Ammonites. There he is facing an enourmous army and what does he do... He prayed, he declared a fast, and he praised God. He was powerless and so are we. Until we realize this we cannot really appreciate God's provision or surrender ourselves to Him.
2 Chron 20:12 "Our God, will you not judge them? For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.”

I love the part "our eyes are on you." What does that mean to you?
To me, it means seeking God with all of your heart, being obedient and repenting when we fall short, turning to him before others, and trusting in him.

Encouragement :)

Stole this from Truewoman.com. It is so encouraging. Loved it!


How Weakness Won a War:

Is there something in your life right now that feels insurmountable? Do you feel abandoned and alone? Take heart, and pay extra close attention to how weakness won a war.

In Judges 7:12, we find Gideon preparing to lead the troops of Israel into a major battle . . . Their enemies—the Midianites, Amalekites and all the other eastern peoples—“had settled in the valley, thick as locusts. Their camels could no more be counted than the sand on the seashore.”

Bad guys as thick as insects with camels as many as the grains of sand on the seashore! This was a battle that would not be easily won, at least not if it depended on the strength of Gideon and his men. So what did Gideon do? He allowed twenty-two thousand of his men to leave, which left him with just ten thousand. It’s a military strategy that the Pentagon won’t be considering any time soon!

I’d be the first to volunteer to join the group that was leaving, being the wimp that I am. Only the very brave remained, but God said Gideon still had too many men . . . and just like that, Gideon’s army shrank to three hundred. And just as the battle cry was about to sound!

“The three companies blew their trumpets and smashed the jars. Grasping the torches in their left hands and holding in their right hands the trumpets they were to blow, they shouted, ‘A sword for the Lord and for Gideon!’ While each man held his position around the camp, all the Midianites ran, crying out as they fled” (vv. 20-21).

Because of God’s strength and power, Gideon and his armies beat an impossible enemy. But why didn’t God let them pummel them with 33,000? The answer is the best part of this story, in my opinion:

“The Lord said to Gideon, ‘You have too many men for me to deliver Midian into their hands. In order that Israel may not boast against me that her own strength has saved her, announce now to the people, ‘Anyone who trembles with fear may turn back and leave Mount Gilead’” (vs. 2-3).

Is it possible that the battle you face today is a reminder that God is strong, you are not, and depending on Him is the only way to win the war? What are you dealing with right now that feels like a battle that cannot be won? Write it down. How is God using your circumstances to show you and others that He is big and strong, and that He is where you should turn for strength? Leave us a comment and tell us about it.

“For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men” (1 Cor. 1:25).

Light Bulb!

Last night before falling asleep, I began to pray to the Lord; in the midst of my prayer I found myself almost negotiating with God to give me a child. I was explaining that "if only" he would bless me with a child I would give this child back to him. Thankfully, I caught myself before elaborating on my negotiations too much. I told myself "No, when the time is right God will give you a child." I then Prayed that the Lord help me to be patient, and forgive me for doubting in his plan for me. I prayed "Lord, please bless me with a child when the time is right for you, and it is your will. Help me to put my faith in you and to depend on you, rather than attempting to control things myself. Help me to realize that apart from you I am helpless. Peace is found only with you through your son Jesus Christ; all of your other blessings are but a brief interlude on the journey to you. If I am to concieve a child it will be for your glory alone, not for my own. Thank you Father for your comfort, provision, and guidance. I pray all these things in your son's name. Amen."

I will still continue to pray that our family will grow. However, I will pray these things for God's glory not my own satisfaction. Glory be to the almighty God. His love is immeasurable.

How it all started

Once we made the decision to begin trying to conceive a child we were both ecstatic. No apprehension, no hesitations; we just knew that we were ready for a baby. We were rearing to go. A few months went by with no positive pregnancy tests; I thought to myself "No bother. It can take more than a few months." Then we started with the opks (ovulation predictor kits), opks allow you to know almost exactly when you are ovulating. A few more months went by and still no positive. Yet, we were not discouraged; anxious for the result we desired, but not discouraged. I believe it was around 9 months of trying that I began thinking "Something may be wrong." I had always heard that after 1 year of trying to conceive you should consult a fertility doctor. I began with the "what ifs"; What if we could not conceive a child naturally, how far would we take it? What if we need to adopt? What if, what if, what if... After reaching that 1 year mark, I was frantic. The tears began monthly upon realizing that I was not pregnant. They poured down every time I heard of friend or family member was expecting. I would avoid the baby section when I shopped. A new and unexpected storm crept into my life, and I wanted to run to the corner and hide.

Looking back now, I believe the problem began in the very beginning with "WE just knew that WE were ready for a baby". We were still under the impression that we somehow got to flip a light switch and decide where our life was headed. After the tears, breakdowns, and emotional episodes I suddenly realized that I did not turn to God through any of this; Other than "God please bless us with a child" I had not considered HIS will, HIS timing, HIS plan. I thought "I want a baby now, so I'm going to have one." After the foul truth of my selfish motives had been revealed to me, I crumbled and sought forgiveness; forgiveness for my selfish motives, forgiveness for my wanting to take things into my own hands, forgiveness for idolizing my want for a child. I was truly humbled after this revelation, and I was thankful to have realized it before letting my storm consume me. Although I still have "difficult days", days of envy and jealous thoughts, days of self-pity, days of anger, I can rest easy knowing that my God has a plan for me far better than any plan I could ever compile. I know my Father uses all things in my life for my spiritual good and his glory alone. I need not worry or allow myself to be overcome with anxious thoughts "And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:30-31

Here it goes...

I feel the best way to kick this shindig off is to share my testimony. I have been a Christian now for almost 3 years. Although before then I always thought... "Sure, I'm a Christian, I suppose. I believe in God and Jesus Christ. I believe what scripture says. (although I did not practice it)" But it wasn't until a few years ago that God saved me and changed my heart.

Once Mr. R (my husband) and I were married I was very concerned about the success of our marriage. Now let me just say our relationship was superb, we fit together like a hand in a glove; I know now that the anxiety I was feeling was a result of my parent's failed marriage. Being brought up in a broken home made me strive to have a successful marriage and to do all I could to make sure we perservered through any storm that could be headed our way. At this time I was part of a women's bible study, and we were studying the seven virtues of a godly wife and mother. I learned so many valuable lessons from this experience. God's design for marriage was revealed to me and I began to strive to be a woman and a wife that would glorify him. I began to learn the beauty of submission and put it into practice to the best of my ability. I saw my marriage transform from good to amazing.

In learning to submit to my husband I learned to submit to My father. I learned what it was to glorify the lord and to turn to him before all others. I cannot explain it very well... I was just SAVED by the grace of God alone. I did nothing to make it happen, he just changed me, adopted me, softened me, and I cannot begin to express the love I felt from this.

Since then, I have repeatedly seen God's hand in my life. Through many trial's I have seen the Lord's provision. He has demonstrated his faithfulness to me time and time again. I know now that apart from God I am helpless. And although I have good days and bad days through this trial of trying to concieve a child, I know that my God is a faithful one and he knows my needs and hearts desires before I even tell him. The lord is great and is working in my life for my spiritual good and his glory. I am so thankful for his steadfast love.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11