Life!

How awesome life has been lately! I am now 34 weeks pregnant! This pregnancy has been amazing. During the first trimester I had lots of naseau and vomiting, but as crazy as it sounds during the first spell of throwing up on the side of the road in the rain I looked up at my husband smiled and said "Yep, I'm definitely pregnant." He then looked at me as if I was out of my mind. At my baby shower yesterday I was reminding of how far we've come since beginning our "baby making journey". I've grown so much (and not just around). I have such a better understanding of God's promises. What those promises actually mean, and how to lean on Him. They don't mean life is going to be what I want it to be all the time. In fact there will continue to be times when life is exactly what I don't want it to be. But the reward is awaiting in heaven, and I can find peace in knowing that :)

True Woman Link :)

Thought i would share this link for anyone who is struggling this Mothers Day:

http://www.truewoman.com/?id=2080

Update :)

Sorry it's been soooooo long since I've posted. We are still in the middle of moving and we have almost no Internet service.

Well I'm 18 wks! And I cannot believe it :) We are beyond thankful for this blessing. The first trimester was full of every pregnancy symptom in the book (all of which I was glad to experience). And so far the second trimester has been AMAZING! If the entire pregnancy felt this way I could definitely see myself becoming another Michelle Duggar :)

That's my update this far. Still praying for all those women I know who are still trying to concieve. And of course praying for the health and safe delivery of out little one as well :)

Sorry for the lack of blogging :( We are in the midst of moving and life has just been hectic. Stayed tuned for postmoving posts :)

God Never Wastes Your Pain

I LOVE this post from the TrueWoman blog. The post is referring to someone's marriage; however, I can easily see where it would help anyone enduring a painful season. Here it is:



I thought I was dying. I’d lost hope, and saw only the dark shroud of my pain. I knew God was there, but I couldn’t see Him at work.
Some of you may have heard our story when it aired on Revive Our Hearts, or you may have watched the True Woman Video explaining how God worked in our marriage. At the time, I couldn’t see anything God was doing and would never have imagined how He would use that season of pain. But He has!
While in the pain He taught me:

• To trust His faithfulness—especially when I couldn’t see Him working
• To remain and not run—escaping the pain was not the answer
• Disobedience brings painful consequences—realizing that brings a healthy fear of God and hatred for sin
• To never assume I’m right—He wants to use this place to reveal blind spots I’m not aware of
• To keep pressing into Him to see what I’m missing in the big picture
• The best is yet to come—always!
• “We’ve not yet seen the rest of the story” (my theme song while experiencing suffering).

He’s not wasted my pain.

• From the brokenness, He’s brought healing and fruit.
• My husband and I guard our marriage relationship and treasure each moment—knowing we wasted so many years.
• Lessons learned from that season are a source of hope and counsel for numerous couples.
• The story of His power to redeem will be shared in a book I’m writing for Moody Publishers—which will allow more couples to benefit from the lessons in the pain.

Here’s what He can do with your pain:

• Show you more of Himself than you’ve yet seen
• Train you in righteousness
• Increase your faith and dependence on Him
• Allow others to see His sustaining grace as you trust and obey
• Conform you to Christ’s image
• Use you to bring comfort and inspiration to others.

“For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.” (2 Cor. 4:17 KJV)
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” (2 Cor. 1:3–4)

Being Patient

Easier said than done right??? Patience has always been something that is difficult for me to master. I think it's because more and more often, in this world, we want something so we push a button or place and order and recieve it. But God doesn't work this way. His timing is hardly ever in line with ours, Knowing that gives me comfort. I will never understand why God allows things that do not make since to happen the way they do. But I do know that He is a holy, unchanging, almighty God. And He has my story already written, and so far it is a beautiful story :) 

Day 36

Day 36 of my cycle when I average 29 days in between. Hopes a little heightened??? Maybe just a hair... However a few months ago I went 37 days between...and Im having cramps like crazy; so it's most likely a late AF. Story of my life, lol.

But to be honest it is nice to know (at least as of right now) that it isn't impossible. It isn't impossible to think that it could be a baby causing the late AF. Yes, reason seems to point to the other hand. But God doesn't follow reason. With God ALL things are possible :)

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Day 38

???? Hmmmmm... Thoughts:

Dear God,
Could this be a cruel joke being played on me??? 37 days was expected and easy for me to swallow, but 38 may just push me towards a broken heart if AF comes. Please sit with me... put your arm around me. Tell me "it will all be okay regardless." Help me to be reminded that YOU'VE GOT THIS. Amen

I am actually somewhat excited... Cramps are still very present, but could it be??? I refuse to take a pregnancy test until Monday. If AF is not here by Monday then I will take the all to familiar clear blue easy; which in the past has been clearly negative, lol. I do know that I will be a Mom one day... But could that day be so close... Lately, that day has felt so far away, almost invisible at times. Today I'm excited to be reminded that I really have no idea when that day will be, but God does know :) He knows our story, He has already written it.

If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.
1 John 3:20

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Day 40

3 tests and this is what they all say! I am blown away, kind of in shock, and more humbled than I ever believed was possible. We have prayed for this to happen for 2 1/2 years, and it finally has. I want to thank everyone who has prayed for us through this time. This little angel has had a vast amount of prayers for quite some time now :) I already know their are so many who love this little life; it is astonishing.

I also want to ask everyone to pray for those women who are waiting for their sweet babies, women who are struggling to become mothers, and women who have lost children.

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We are visiting Dr. E today. I am so thankful to have a Christian doctor that R and I are 100% comfortable with. Contrary to what others may be thinking, I am not nervous at all! God has been so faithful to us, how could I be anxious about what lies ahead when I am certain that this is COMPLETELY in his hands. I am praying for this little baby's health. I am not guarding my heart or controlling my emotions... just trusting in our amazing, all powerful Lord and Savior.

So, now I'm 12 wks... And I am still beyond thankful :)

Has it really been 2 1/2 years???

Well the 2 1/2 year anniversary (this month) of R and I ttc is starting to sting a little :-/ It's probably because everyone and their mother are pregnant, lol. Don't get me wrong I am happy for them, but all to often I am reminded that after 2 1/2 years we aren't there yet. Of course my emotional state has improved since a year ago. Thanks to the Lord, there are so many "easy days" now. Days I do not dwell on not being a mother; days I am soooooooo content; days I am elated about other people's great news of being pregnant.

I guess I just sit and wonder at times if R and I are so great with kids and have experience with taking care of them and doing a good job at it, why aren't we the ones expecting? I sit back and hope these women with pregnancies realize what a gift they have been given with their buns in the oven. Not that I am an authority on telling others what to be thankful for or anything. I just hope they realize that they have an amazing gift that not every other person is able to have.

Although I know God has a perfect plan for us, it still hurts every month when AF shows up, it still hurts when everyone around me gets pregnant easily and we are wanting it so badly.

I know our day will come... One day we will be ecstatic and know the amazing blessing that a child brings. One day we will love a child with all our might. One day we will decorate the nursery, register, plan family outings and and the rest that comes with loving a baby. I'm looking forward to it and when I think about those times we will spend together as a family I smile :)

Awesome Resolution Quote :)

"This year, let us ask God to dissolve all our hopes (however good they may be!) into a single hope: to know Christ and to be found in Him. May this be a year of desire radically transformed, a deeper, truer, knowing of Christ as our All-Sufficient One."

Looking Back I Just Have To Laugh

As I am going through our things while packing up the house for the big move, I am finding all sorts of things that I had bought to prepare for our little bundle of joy. A bundle of joy that I just new would be here within the year... Things like:


A bib to surprise R with when the pregnancy test was + that says I heart my Daddy

Initials to decorate and hang on the wall for a boy name or girl name (although our name choices have changed)

A charm pack for sewing our baby's first quilt.

Wall decals for the nursery saying: Holding you, I hold everything

A Honda Pilot for toting my little bundle of joy around with me and having plenty of space for all the kids we were going to have :)



It's funny how you have a plan for your life and then you realize God's plan is sooooo much better.
His plan may push you beyond what you ever thought you could handle. It may make you examine your entire thought processing. It may convict you right in your tracks. It may be difficult, but in the end the reward is so much sweeter than the pain.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11