Well the 2 1/2 year anniversary (this month) of R and I ttc is starting to sting a little :-/ It's probably because everyone and their mother are pregnant, lol. Don't get me wrong I am happy for them, but all to often I am reminded that after 2 1/2 years we aren't there yet. Of course my emotional state has improved since a year ago. Thanks to the Lord, there are so many "easy days" now. Days I do not dwell on not being a mother; days I am soooooooo content; days I am elated about other people's great news of being pregnant.
I guess I just sit and wonder at times if R and I are so great with kids and have experience with taking care of them and doing a good job at it, why aren't we the ones expecting? I sit back and hope these women with pregnancies realize what a gift they have been given with their buns in the oven. Not that I am an authority on telling others what to be thankful for or anything. I just hope they realize that they have an amazing gift that not every other person is able to have.
Although I know God has a perfect plan for us, it still hurts every month when AF shows up, it still hurts when everyone around me gets pregnant easily and we are wanting it so badly.
I know our day will come... One day we will be ecstatic and know the amazing blessing that a child brings. One day we will love a child with all our might. One day we will decorate the nursery, register, plan family outings and and the rest that comes with loving a baby. I'm looking forward to it and when I think about those times we will spend together as a family I smile :)
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