Enjoyed this from Nancy Leigh DeMoss...

“God is the Creator, Author, and Giver of life. Not surprisingly, as the sworn enemy of God, Satan hates life. He has always sought to destroy it. He persuaded Adam and Eve to eat of the forbidden fruit, knowing that if they did, they would die, as God had promised. When Adam and Eve gave birth to two sons, Satan incited the elder of the two to murder his younger brother. Satan is the thief Jesus spoke of who ‘comes only to steal and kill and destroy’ (John 10:10, italics added). His intent and strategy are precisely the opposite of God’s plan, for in the same verse Jesus says, ‘I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.’ As a destroyer of life, Satan is definitely not into encouraging childbearing. Every child that is born has the potential to thwart his purposes by receiving God’s grace and becoming a subject of the kingdom of God. So anything that hinders or discourages women from fulfilling their God-given calling to be bearers and nurturers of life furthers Satan’s efforts.”

Satan will jump on any chance to prevent God's covenant family from growing. But God is stronger than Satan, and if we seek him with all of our heart His promises are abundant :)

Easy to Please

Spent last night riding around back roads with my husband... I realize that may sound weird, however it is something we have done since we first started dating and I think it is crazy romantic... it was a blast!

I woke up today thinking I hope I am always that easy to please. Don't get me wrong I do occasionally want the dinner reservation with a black dress scene; however, riding around our small town without a care in the world makes it to the top of my list.

"What's the point???" you may be wondering... Well, the point is don't become so consumed with your want for a child that you forget about your husband. Always try to make time for your spouse while you're ttc. Don't forget to have sex just for the fun of it, lol. While women feel the loss of not having yet concieved a child, men often feel the loss of a happy and functioning partner. Ahhhhhhh... Love is great :)

Some Clarity :)

Mr. R and I have discussed what our limits are, in terms of treatment, and where our stopping point would be. After much prayer and discussion it is nice to finally have a clear line. I believe that it is extremely important for every couple battling infertility (or ttc problems) to discuss their limits before seeking testing and treatment. Anyone is capable of letting their emotions affect their decision making. And when dealing with an emotional rollercoaster such as infertility, it is best to decide your limits while you have a clear mind.

We are praying that God's glory will continue to be first in our hearts above anything else. And we are praying for His guidance and His wisdom. It is amazing to feel the holy spirit leading us in such a clear direction :)

How has this trial changed me?

It is amazing how infertility has had a positive affect on my life. As I share with other people it is hard to express my mixed emotions about our experiences. However, if it were not for this experience I would still be in the dark on so many truths I have recently learned.

It is so easy to spout out "Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done." But do we really mean that every time? I know now that I did not mean that at all times. If the Lord's will was to take my husband from me would I really mean "Thy will be done." Or if he willed us into financial hardships, would I truly mean "Thy will be done." Now I know what that prayer means on an entirely new level. It means surrendering myself to God; submitting to Him alone. It means dying to myself everyday in order to live out the life He has called me to live.

The truth is if I had not had this trial in my life I may have never known what it means to trust in Christ. I pray daily that God will enrich my relationship with Him; bring me closer to Him. Although this storm may have not been what I would have picked to fufill that prayer, God knew that this would bring me into a closer relationship with him. In a way, my infertility struggle has been an answer to my prayers.

Count it all joy, my brothers,^[a] when you meet trials^(B) of various kinds, ³for you know that^(C) the testing of your faith^(D) produces steadfastness. ⁴And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be^(E) perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
 ^5(F) If any of you lacks wisdom,^(G) let him ask God,^(H) who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. ⁶But^(I) let him ask in faith,^(J) with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like^(K) a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. ⁷For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; ^8(L) he is a double-minded man,^(M) unstable in all his ways.
James 1:2-8

Feeling At Peace in The Storm

I don't know what it is about the past few days; I just know that my mind has not been clouded with doubt or worry at all. Maybe it's because Mr. R is coming home, or maybe because my schedule is busy. I am not sure why this peaceful feeling is here, but I feel that the Holy Spirit is definitely at work in me.

I have found an outlet at church to serve, and I am very excited about it :) For so long I have put so much concentration into being a mother and how I would parent/raise my child to follow Christ, it is nice to have a purpose apart from "my plan" (even if it is a small one).

I have been looking into a missions trip that focuses on VBS in a foreign impoverished country. God does not leave all of the doors shut and I am so greatful for his Love and provision. I never gave thought to being a "spiritual mother" until recently; Someone who can set a godly example for a child.

I'll say it again and again, lol... God's plan is greater than I any plan I could ever dream up. I am only getting to see a small fraction of the beautiful picture He is painting.

I compare it to when I am painting a picture. When I first start it is just a rough sketch, then I start filling in the shadows and you start to see some shapes. But, the beauty of the painting is not revealed until the last few hours when the highlights and details are perfected. I know at the end of this their will be a masterpiece, God's masterpiece.

I will look ahead, with expectation, towards the plan He has for me. I will run after Him with all of my heart, because He is the only one that can give me this peace. God is great and He can do great things. I am indeed looking forward to His plan unfolding; whatever the plan may be.

Psalm 5:3 "In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly."


I love the story of Jehoshphat and the Moabites and Ammonites. There he is facing an enourmous army and what does he do... He prayed, he declared a fast, and he praised God. He was powerless and so are we. Until we realize this we cannot really appreciate God's provision or surrender ourselves to Him.
2 Chron 20:12 "Our God, will you not judge them? For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.”

I love the part "our eyes are on you." What does that mean to you?
To me, it means seeking God with all of your heart, being obedient and repenting when we fall short, turning to him before others, and trusting in him.