Day 36

Day 36 of my cycle when I average 29 days in between. Hopes a little heightened??? Maybe just a hair... However a few months ago I went 37 days between...and Im having cramps like crazy; so it's most likely a late AF. Story of my life, lol.

But to be honest it is nice to know (at least as of right now) that it isn't impossible. It isn't impossible to think that it could be a baby causing the late AF. Yes, reason seems to point to the other hand. But God doesn't follow reason. With God ALL things are possible :)

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Day 38

???? Hmmmmm... Thoughts:

Dear God,
Could this be a cruel joke being played on me??? 37 days was expected and easy for me to swallow, but 38 may just push me towards a broken heart if AF comes. Please sit with me... put your arm around me. Tell me "it will all be okay regardless." Help me to be reminded that YOU'VE GOT THIS. Amen

I am actually somewhat excited... Cramps are still very present, but could it be??? I refuse to take a pregnancy test until Monday. If AF is not here by Monday then I will take the all to familiar clear blue easy; which in the past has been clearly negative, lol. I do know that I will be a Mom one day... But could that day be so close... Lately, that day has felt so far away, almost invisible at times. Today I'm excited to be reminded that I really have no idea when that day will be, but God does know :) He knows our story, He has already written it.

If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.
1 John 3:20

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Day 40

3 tests and this is what they all say! I am blown away, kind of in shock, and more humbled than I ever believed was possible. We have prayed for this to happen for 2 1/2 years, and it finally has. I want to thank everyone who has prayed for us through this time. This little angel has had a vast amount of prayers for quite some time now :) I already know their are so many who love this little life; it is astonishing.

I also want to ask everyone to pray for those women who are waiting for their sweet babies, women who are struggling to become mothers, and women who have lost children.

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We are visiting Dr. E today. I am so thankful to have a Christian doctor that R and I are 100% comfortable with. Contrary to what others may be thinking, I am not nervous at all! God has been so faithful to us, how could I be anxious about what lies ahead when I am certain that this is COMPLETELY in his hands. I am praying for this little baby's health. I am not guarding my heart or controlling my emotions... just trusting in our amazing, all powerful Lord and Savior.

So, now I'm 12 wks... And I am still beyond thankful :)