Chapter 2 overview

The Wedded Unmother: Myths and facts

Chapter 2 was very informative. This chapter touched on common myths and facts about infertility. It touched on the different types of infertility and explained them very well.

I enjoyed the fact that they touched on infertility is not just a woman's problem, BUT my favorite part of the chapter was the "Myth: Infertility is caused by the need to just relax." It is true that chronic stress and fatigue can alter your hormones, but most fertility drugs compensate in cases where hormones fall outside of normal ranges. The very first thing my RE did was bloodwork to examine my hormone levels. So it is hard to believe that this would go unnoticed. "Infertility is more likely to cause stress than to be caused by stress." "80 to 85 percent of the time, doctors find a diagnosable medical cause, for which no amount of relaxation will help."

When I hear that phrase "You just need to relax, and it will happen." It makes my skin crawl. It seems to imply something else that is wrong with ME. Or that I am in some way causing it to happen; that it is my "wrong attitude." that is the problem. I know people say this to be encouraging, but the fact is even if I was relaxed as possible I still may never concieve a child.

I also loved the section that told about the Myth: You can always adopt (if you adopt the pain will go away) Adoption is a wonderful solution for some couples, but it does not take the pain away. The 6 key losses stemming from infertility, compiled by Dr. Pat Johnson, are:

1. loss of control
2. loss of individual genetic community
3. loss of a jointly concieved child
4. loss of the pregnancy and birth experience
5. loss of emotional gratification surrounding pregnancy and birth
6. loss of an oppurtunity to nurture and parent a new generation

Another favorite part of this chapter for me was Myth: Infertility is a curse from God. "The only clear connection in scripture of infertility being  a curse from God, according to the Old Testament Law, was in the case of adultery." It goes on to explain more on the subject and put your heart at ease that infertility is not a direct curse from God.

I am really enjoying this book. It would be especially helpful to someone just entering the beginning "doom and gloom" stages of infertility. However, I have also found it helpful in many ways. I enjoy the constant references to scripture the most.

You can purchase this book from here if you'd like :)